Christmas Letter 2005

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody! We here at Curtin Christmas Letter, Inc. hope you had a safe, healthy and happy 2005. It has come to our attention that our 2004 Christmas Letter (authored by our own Al the Fish) was printed in too small a type for some of our loyal readers (my Dad thought it was an eye test) and a little too wordy for others (in fact, several of the more slow-witted recipients have just finished reading it as we speak - names withheld). OK, let it not be said that we here at the corporation aren't responsive to the needs of our customers which is why I've offered a money back guarantee every year I've written the Letter (Note: if you are not compleltely satisfied with the content of any Christmas Letter, send a self addressed stamped envelope to: Complaint Department, P.O. box Who Gives a Flying $&*#@, Mars City, Mars, 22222. Our crack staff in the complaint department will get your refund right out to you.) But, back to that whole "responsive to your needs cra...um, stuff"; since you all took the essayportion of the Christmas Letter last year, we herewith bring you the 2005 Christmas Letter Multiple Choice Quiz:

1. The Curtin Girls are: a) about as cute as three little girls can possibly be (I mean really, it's almost embarrassing at this point); b) eating us out of house and home; or C) for sale.
2. Emma, our 6 and a half year old, is: a) losing teeth so fast the tooth fairy had to take out a home equity loan; b) taking Irish Step Dancing lessons ["and a huge roar goes up from the crowd!!"]; c) acting in an after-school theatre group which did a stunning rendition of "The Three Little Pig Opera" to rave reviews this Fall (she played Sticks Pig); d) playing basketball, soccer and skiing; d) loving every single minute of first grade, including Spanish (Si, Spanish!); e) a sprite, fun-loving, gregarious kid who's growing up waaay to fast for Mom and dad; or f) all of the above.
3. Julia, our 4 and a half old is: a) taking ballet and music; b) in her last year of Nursery School; c) playing soccer and skiing; d) such a girly girl that she refuses to wear anything except for skirts or dresses and won't wear pants at gunpoint; e) insistent upon dragging three dolls (two outfits each), a stuffed dog, Dora the Explorer, a mermaid, a ballerina and a bag full of jewelry on any trip over five feet; f) a gentle, sensitive, loving little kid; g) all of the above.
4. Annie, our 22 month old, is: a) a terror; b) going to be our first emergency room visit, I can just feel it; c) CONSTANTLY moving; d) into EVERYTHING!!!!; e) a freaking handful; f) - j) did I mention she's a terror; k) a climber [I mena on everything - she has no fear, its incredible]; l) a boy in disguise; m) proof that God has a sense of humor; n) always, always happy; o) as cute as they come - have you seen her eyes??; p) smarter than any 22 month old you want to put her up against (trust me, she'll take on all comers).
5. My wife Kat is: a) still the most beautiful, kind, loving wife a guy could ask for and a perfect mother who holds our family together despite the chaos that is our life; b) a little stressed out from the constant activity and noise in her life; c) still (barely) putting up with her juvenile delinquent husband; or d) looking over my shoulder right now (let's go with answer a. and just move on).
6. I took a new job as Compliance Officer with a biotech company based in Norwalk, CT because: a) that 12-minute commute to Stamford, CT was wearing me out; b) my old boss found out I forged my Kindergarten transcript and I actually failed snack time; C) two words: free donuts [Mmmmm....donuts].
7. Al the Fish, author of last year's Christmas Letter, is: a) "sleeping with the humans" for defaulting on some gambling debts to Gill "One Fin" McGuire (he owed him a lot of clams. Clams!!! I swear, I just crack myself up!!); b) working on a screenplay based on last year's Christmas Letter (fingers crossed - Matt damon wants to play me and Brooke Shields is already cast as Kat. Emma and Julia are being played by the Olsen twins, and Danny Devito and Paris Hilton are fighting over Annie's part); c) studying for his MBA; d) staring at me as we speak wondering why I haven't fed him today.
8. With our free time this past year we: a) stayed home and spent no money - HA!, I knew I couldn't write that with a straight face! wooo that was a good one!; b) rented a ski house in Vermont with my sister and brother in law and their kids (awesome time, we're doing it again this year, the kids took to skiing like you wouldn't believe!); c) spent time in Newport, RI and Martha's Vineyard, MA; d) relaxed in Sea Island, GA at our friends the Nailor's house; e) what free time?? Seriously, we had free time? Where the hell was I??
9. You have received this Curtin Christmas Letter: a) in error; b) because I like to torture you once a year; c) as a condition of your probation; d) because you are among those we like, love, tolerate, and/or feel an obligation to communicate with at least once per year.
10. This quiz has ten questions even though I've pretty much said all I have to say: a) because I wanted to wish you a safe, healthy and happy 2006; or B) because I always finish what I sta